Dear ex-best friend,
You have been on my mind a lot lately.
I've been remembering all of the good times
And all of the bad.
I have to say, you are the absolute hardest
Relationship I've ever had to move on from.
We were friends for 20 years and I can't let it go.
You have crossed my mind hundreds of times
In the last (almost) two years.
I remember how stressful our friendship
Was in the end.
it had become toxic.
We had been friends for so long that
We couldn't seem to speak
Without offending or making the other defensive.
I was too sensitive and never really spoke my mind
For fear of conflict.
Which also meant that I felt bullied
By your strong opinions but kept
Quiet instead of talking about it.
I have thought of you so often that I started
Wondering if something was wrong and
I would pray for you, for your safety and happiness.
Because no matter how long it's been,
how many times I try and make myself
Believe we are better without each other,
I still miss you,
I still love you.
I honestly don't think that will ever change.
It's been almost two years and I still haven't
Deleted your number
Because a tiny part of me
Hopes that someday God will
Bring us back together.
I want to reach out
I want to try again
I don't know about you
But I've changed a lot
Grown a lot in the last two years.
I know we could never go back to how things
Were and I don't want it to
But the idea of starting fresh
Sam and Laura 2.0
It just sounds nice.
I don't know if we could or if you'd even want to
But it's been heavy on my heart today.
Honestly I was so emotional and thinking of you
That it reminded me of our connection/cord
And I may have secretly hoped you were in
The same inner turmoil and we were suffering
Together lol
You will probably never read this but I needed to
Get this written down.
I needed to know there might be some hope you'll
Someday see it.
If we never speak again I still want you to know
That I truly am happy for you,
I know nothing about your
Fiancé but I know that you look happier
Than I've ever seen and that makes me happy.
I hope you have a pimpin' life :))
