Happy Halloween

"Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see, this our town of Halloween! This is Halloween, this is Halloween!"- The Nightmare Before Christmas
I LOVE that movie lol

So I thought I'd share my families lovely halloween costumes! :)

Sheriff Evan

 Bank Robber Parker

Zombie Doll hubby

Zombie Doll Lady

:)

Set On Fire

Roaming through an endless night,
No hope of ever seeing the light.
It had been so long since an embrace reached out to hold,
I had become accustom to the cold.
In my dark moment I was weak,
I allowed a thief in to sneak.
And suddenly I was no longer in the dark,
That sort of rescue doesn't go without leaving a mark.
In my chest there was a hole,
The contents of which you stole.
It wasn't hard we didn't have to try at all,
The chemistry was there, all we had to do was fall.
You make me laugh until I cry,
We are horrible at goodbye.
The way you touch my skin,
It's sad to think this could have always been.
The way you kiss me makes me weak,
Your brown eyes into my soul they seek.
The moment I was weak, I am so thankful for,
I felt it in my stomach before you walked out my front door.
Never has there been two better lovers,
That were completely made for eachother.
Together our passion burst into flames,
We knew things would never be the same.
In eachothers eyes we can see us spending our life,
As husband and wife.

A poem I wrote after my husband and I started dating :)

Horrid Rant Followed by Bones

Oh it's been one of those days. I'm not sure if it's because of the grayness or lack of medication but I'm feeling near crying myself to sleep or screaming at the top of my lungs. Not sure which sounds better at the moment.

I am missing my son terribly. This is his weekend with his dad and I miss the loud two year old rampaging through my house. He will be home around seven tomorrow but that seems like forever.

Now a rant about my in-laws.
THEY. DRIVE. ME. INSANE!!!

My husbands dad and step-mom are unbelievable..
Not only do they kiss up to his ex (the girls's mom) at every chance they get only to talk about how much they cant stand her afterwards, they play favorites with the grandkids.
They bend over backwards and do everything possible to see the girls but the boys they just cant find the time. They help pay for the girls's dance classes but if the boys wanted to play peewee football? Oh no we don't have the money to help. I have hid them on facebook because I'm so [insert a variety of choice words] tired of seeing the crap they post about their "daughter" and her boyfriend (funnily enough Cody's cousin- couldn't have Cody so she got the next best thing..) Oh and shes pregnant with his kid, yep great huh? That'll make the kids sisters/2nd cousins.. We live too close to Arkansas..
Luckily my husbands mom and stepdad are amazing and I love them to death (at least I have one side that is great) 
Ugh.. I'm just sick of all of this crap..

** Half hour pause**

Well now I feel much better!! lol Husband got home and cooked me dinner and I took a hot shower!! :) Now we are getting ready to watch Bones! YAY!! :D

Insanity: A Mothers Curse

Motherhood comes with so much more baggage than any woman could ever imagine. If you don't have children you might say "oh I've read every book I know what to expect." Well you are mother-effin wrong. I know, I've been there. If you are wanting children (or were like me and wanted them your whole life) then it is hard to see past the positives of a beautiful little baby. So here is my rant about how having children makes you psychotic.
Becoming a mother can(and usually does) turn even a carefree spirit into a hormonal worry wart, first your body is abducted by monsterous aliens but whats new about that? We all know you get nice and plump for nine months before things go back to normal, right? WRONG! This normal you speak of does not exist in a mothers vocabulary. The alien does vacate your body eventually (by the end of the nine months it feels like you'll be pregnant and miserable and swollen forever) but just because you now are a tad bit slimmer doesn't completely mean you are on the downhill slope.

Mommy Hormonal Overload

I truly believe every mother should get #1 a huge ass award for bringing a child into the world and #2 a lifetime prescription to some amazing drugs! Because having children will forever and I do mean FOR-EVER mess up every hormone in your body. Things that use to not bother you will suddenly cause you to
burst into tears, repeatedly.
Let me share a story of mine..

There is a bridge on the way to my In-Laws house that crosses over a lake, I have never had any problems with bridges or heights or water for that matter. After I had my second son emotions got even more out of wack. One day when we drove across the bridge I about burst into tears because a horrific scene flashed before my eyes of our vehicle flying off the bridge and into the water. Did my horrible image stop there? No of course not. Then I imagined looking into the backseat at my two boys and trying to get them out of their carseats as water was filling the van and we were sinking and what would happen if I couldn't save them. Needless to say I have to focus strictly on the radio or the floorboard everytime we cross that bridge now or I begin crying.
The immense ties we have to our children are impossible to measure and are stronger than anything else I can imagine. The love we have for our children can put us in the most horrifying paralyzing fear, I dont know any other way to describe it. I think it can almost be "scientifically" proven that we lose brain cells everytime we have a child. It is amazing how we can think we are having an "emotional" day before we have children because I can look back and think, "oh that was a good day!"
I would like to say that being a woman SUCKS. Big donkey balls...
Men don't have to be emotional, get fat, be miserable (while still being expected to clean and cook dinner) give birth, wake at every hour of the night for feedings or any of that!
Dont get me started on them not having periods either!!

But the thing that PROVES mothers are truly psychotic is that they have and accept (for the most part) all of these emotional disabilities and they wouldn't trade them for the world.
Our children mean the world to us even if they come at the high stake of our sanity, they are well worth it :)

The Hated Mom?

As I read through some other blogs I read how mothers are censoring nursery rhymes or bed time stories, which I do not judge. If it works for them and their family that is great. I began thinking of how I would handle such a situation and then realized I am going to be the mother other moms hate.

My children are going to get very colorful, violent stories that are acted out with lots of dramatic talent. (haha) They will have happy endings of couse but I plan on making them hilariously epic stories. Let me give an example of something I will tell my kids...

Once upon a time there was a little boy who was very handsome and decided to go on a dangerous adventure to his grandmothers house. His grandmother lived far aross the land through the dark forest and over the bridge of no return, under that bridge lives a horrible man eating goblin. He will bite your legs and gobble you down for breakfast. So the little boy set off through the dark forest with his magical lantern which scared away all of the man eating bats, then he arrived at the bridge of no return. The little boy took a deep breath and stepped onto the stone when suddenly a deep goblin voice boomed "WHO IS ON MY BRIDGE?" That was when a horrible green goblin came crawling out from under the bridge *I plan on acting out the goblin in a hilariously zombie-ish way* and he said "You look like a yummy little boy!! I think I will eat you up!" So the little boy grabbed his sword and stabbed the goblin and there was lots of blood and the goblin fell down dead! The little boy continued on his way to his grandmothers and they had a delicious feast! The end.

I have a very strange personality and even though my two year old doesn't understand it when we play I say random things about our games such as the other day we were playing with his toy horses and I said "Oh! Your horse is dead, my horse ate your horses liver." haha I cannot wait until my son is old enough to understand and appreciate story time! I'm even more excited for when we can go back and forth where I can make up a part and he can continue it. Obviously I have a wild imagination and as long as my son doesn't get scared (because I plan to make them funny to show him he doesn't have to be afraid of anything) then I plan on sharing my crazy stories with my boys. I have a feeling parents of my kids friends are going to be annoyed with the bloody imaginitive stories my boys will come up with. They are boys its to be expected, right? Either way I will encourage creative stories with my boys :)  Does anybody else share my sense of story telling? Share funny stories of your story times as well :)

Baby Fever Already?

So here I am with a two year old and a seven month old and I find myself getting baby fever, specifically baby girl fever.

I always knew I would have a little girl. I was that weird kid who made a huge keepsake box full of things for my "future daughter". During my pregnancies I hoped and prayed that I would have a little girl just to be *shortly* disappointed I wouldn't be getting a little princess.

Now I love my boys more than anything but I think we can agree that girls are more fun to shop for, the bows, the dresses, the shoes, the headbands, everything.

As I type this my two year old lays down on the floor and sniffs the wood floor and then kisses it. Haha boys are so strange.

My husband has agreed that we would try again for a little girl but knowing this will be my last chance has put me in a different mind set. I am forcing myself to believe it will be another boy so I wont get my hopes up (although to some extent I'm sure I will) just to have them crushed. I have no idea what we would name another little boy, we are lucky we both liked the name Parker. My husband had it in his mind since he was a teenager that if he had a little boy that he would name him "Tanner Rhena". I told him that Tanner was alright but there was no way I was going to give my little boy a girls middle name. So that ended that convesation.

As of right now we are not trying but I have had this vibe for a couple months that I will be pregnant before my doctors appointment next month, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

The Little Monster

It was a cold night, the north wind howled and one mommy decided to go to sleep early... Then IT woke up..

So this is a very strange night, my boys both sleep like angels. The two year old goes to sleep around 8 or 8:30 (most of the time he literally jumps in bed he is so happy lol) and the 6 month old sleeps a ton. They have their naps and bed times pretty much in sync, Parker usually goes to sleep a little later than older brother but he sleeps all night as well.

I have been feeling like the walking dead the last couple weeks, mainly due to my husbands back and forth work schedule and wanting to spend time with him. So last night I went to sleep at 9:30 because my dear sweet husband said with my half open eyes I looked like a zombie so off to bed I went. This morning I woke up a brand new woman! I was refreshed and ready to go! I turned into supermom and cleaned the whole house and when I laid down for my usual afternoon nap (yes I take a nap every afternoon while the boys sleep.. I love my sleep lol) I couldn't fall asleep, wasnt tired! So I got up and cleaned some more until the hubby got home. I even did a great workout and went running, I felt amazing and so proud of myself.
Then a dark cloud covered the scene...
Well after dinner and some Futurama with the hubby(I love that show lol) we both were exhausted so we put the children to sleep at 7:30 and we went to bed. It was fantastic until 8:30 when IT woke up.  My little monster decided that mommy didn't need extra sleep tonight and that he would be a grumpy little booger. So I fed him and changed him but no that was not what he wanted, he wanted to sit on mommys lap and stare at her and make faces at her.
He did it on purpose I tell you..
So it's 10:30 and here we are, Parker is sitting in his bouncer looking around and I am now wide awake and on the computer. My husband is fast asleep in the warm cozy bed..... whore... lol
But even as I sit here grumbling about my little monster he looks up at me and smiles really big, is it because he is a sweet little baby?
NO.... It is because he is a evil little boy and wanted to ruin mommys full night of sleep. Oh my evil master mind child lol
Okay so I don't really think he is an evil little boy but he sure is grumpy tonight.

And thus ends the story of the evil little monster..

The Curly Life: a horror story

This would be a rant about hair issues and how much they make me want to pull a Britney and just shave it all off.
I have had the blessing/curse of having naturally curly hair, that comes with the great and the horrible!
Pros: Pretty curls one in every thirty days when my hair feels like it.
Cons: Frizzy hair that could easily become a fro(not to mention when it's rainy or humid) when my demon possessed curls decide "screw you" and don't curl for crap. The coarse dryness that comes along with the joys of curls.

So lets take a trip down memory lane..

So this is my (dorky) self at sixteen/seventeen. (I had really long hair and cut it off because I was insane, although it was a pain in the ass.. lol) So my curls use to work perfectly all the time with minimal effort. I literally used a glob of L.A. Looks  gel on my towel dried hair, scrunched it and let it air dry.
That was it.

*I was very furious when they stopped making the blue brand of L.A. Looks which was like liquid gel magic for my hair, the search began for another product but nothing has ever been quite the same.. L.A Looks you shall be remembered.*


As I've gotten older I've realised how even on my "frizzy" days I had great hair, before it went over to the dark side.
And I don't mean color.
Apparently my hair gave me all it had and I didn't appreciate it and so instead of breaking up with me it just wanted to make my life a living hell.
So now my curls (which I am still grateful for...when they curl right..) are blah and frizzy and take forever to get to that "well this is as good as it's gonna get" stage.
Oh what I would do to have my pimp curls back..
(If you continue to read my blogs you'll find I have a very colorful vocabulary and I don't mean cuss words)
Anyway this was my long pointless rant about my hair, I noticed the only pictures I had up were of my straight hair and then I was forced to relive the painful realization of my tempermental hair. Which is why it is in a fabulous pony tail at this very moment, gotta love em!

The Thief and his Princess

I thought I would share my husband and I's love story, this is how we met and eventually fell in love :)

I was a naive innocent sixteen year old who had just started her first job at a local grocery store. I started working as a bag sacker/shelf stocker, I was the only girl who worked in the back with the guys. I was (and still am) a tom boy, I loved working with and being one of the guys. My siblings and I were homeschooled and so as I look back I'm sure most of my coworkers thought I was weird and a highly innocent teenager. I didn't cuss (which makes me laugh now for it's hard to go a day without a cuss word) I didn't drink and I wanted to wait til marriage to have sex. I was a very good girl.
I had been working there for a few months when Cody got a job there. I had a boyfriend at the time but that didn't stop him from flirting every chance he got. I didn't not like him but I sure didn't like him. He had probably made some sexual joke or cussed and I took offense, that added to his "manwhore-ness" made him a "jerk". Looking back Cody was always very sweet to me, it was my innocent side that thought he was a rude manwhore.
So in the middle of January of 2006 my boyfriend's little brother calls and breaks up with me for him. (Yeah. That actually happened. Idiot.) So the next day I went to work and told the guys I worked with (including Cody) that they needed to go beat someone up for me. It didn't take Cody long to jump at his chance.
It had only been days since the breakup and I was on my fifteen minute break at work. Cody was sitting across from me in the tiny excuse for a break room. He casually mentions that we should go out to dinner and a movie and apparently I tell him that we should just stay friends. I honestly don't have much memory of this but he remembered the conversation word for word.
Months passed and now it was April, time for prom.
Cody said his girlfriend from a different town couldn't go to prom with him and since I was homeschooled and couldn't go to prom otherwise asked if I would like to go to prom with him, as friends. I accepted.
*Side note: He was dating a fourteen year old, another reason I thought he was a stupid man slut. I later found out he could have taken his girlfriend to prom but he wanted a "date" with me so maybe I'd realize I wanted to date him.*
I remember him coming to my house to meet my parents, I remember him sitting on the couch next to me as he explained to my parents that he would come over at such time and we would go eat at some place and he would bring me home by whatever time. Those details are fuzzy, what I remember clearly is looking over at
him as he is talking to my family and thinking.
"Oh no. Crap... You like him!"
I remembered something just feeling right. Seeing him sitting next to me, in my parents house, surrounded by my family. It felt right.
I walked him to his truck as he was getting ready to leave and we stood there talking for a few minutes, I couldn't tell you a thing we said but I did hug him goodbye.
After returning to my house and my family giving negative comments, warning me not to like him and that "he wasn't good boyfriend material". I talked myself out of my feelings within a couple hours.
Within a week or two he had to call me and tell me he couldn't take me to prom because his girlfriend had gotten upset and didn't want him taking another girl to prom, friend or not. Which I understood so I told him that was fine.

And my teenage rebellion begins.

A local stoner skateboarder came into my life and we started talking. I told him he would have to stop doing drugs if he ever wanted a life with me well he did and so being a stupid-ass seventeen year old I thought it was true love. I remember sitting on break with Cody and him being in a bad mood and going into a rant telling me he didn't go out and party every weekend, he had never touched a drug in his life and that he couldn't understand why I would want to be with someone like that. I was hurt and mad he had gotten upset, I told him some lame excuse that he has changed now or something. A few months prior to this Cody had given me a Papa Roach CD which I loved, well suddenly he wanted it back saying he had let me borrow (I still swear to this day he gave it to me and he still thinks he said "borrow") Well I was still upset he had gotten mad at me and so I must have said something along the lines of okay I will. Yeah I had no plans of giving it back. (Which is actually a good thing cause he went out a bought a new CD, and lost it before finally got together all the while I still have the orginal)
Cody stopped working at the store not too long after this, he didn't keep any harsh feelings over the CD and was still nice to me whenever he saw me. I didn't hardly see Cody for the next two and a half years, he had two sweet little girls during this time.
So Stoner and I were together since I was seventeen, there were signs. So many signs. But after my father kept gently mentioning reasons why I shouldn't be with him and I kept ignoring him he realized I had made up my mind and he had better accept this guy for a son-in-law because I planned on marrying him. We got married in Febuary of 2008 and we will fast forward through all of the shit he put me through, we got pregnant in and had an amazing little boy in July 2009. I was miserable and kept trying to talk to him about our problems but he didn't want to talk about it or change. (when I finally left him he became a fb-whore and told everyone how it was all my fault and I NEVER told him things were so bad HA liar.) How I wish I could be a bitch. I really do! I would love to post on fb and email all the two faced "friends" who only listened to his side and tell them all of the things he really did BUT I just am not that person.
So in January 2010 I left him and had never felt such freedom in my life.

A few months later Cody randomly found me online and we started talking. I had heard the rumor that he had left his Ex to raise the two girls by herself. So I was not a kind person to him. I had been through so much crap and sugar coating that I was done, I told him exactly how I felt. I was rude and to the point, I hated what he had done and let him know about it. Only to be told the truth...
Yes he had left her but no one knew he was trying to see his girls as much as he could and was paying child support. I stopped being rude to him but the bluntness continued. I was tired of hiding who I was, he was either going to keep talking to me or I was going to piss him off and he wouldn't. I just didn't care anymore. Cody flirted like he had when we were sixteen, that hadn't changed. It was the most intense emotion to have someone think you're beautiful after being ignored for almost four years. I didn't know how to react.
During the painfully stressful divorce process and the ex's rants and phone calls I came home from working all day and after my son went to sleep I sat at the computer with my six-pack of Green Apple Smirnoff.
Cody got online and we began our usual nonstop talking and flirting and somewhere in the middle of this conversation I let it slip that I was drinking and rather tipsy. Well Cody announced he was coming to my house, I told him he didn't know where I lived.
He told me exactly where I lived.
I live near my parents and was terrified of someone finding out for some reason. I didn't tell him he could but I didn't tell him he couldn't.
I turned on Fired Up and sat in front of the television having a heart attack when he showed up about thirty minutes later.
I remember opening the door and looking at his goofy self, he thought he was so cool.
Mental note of not coolness
I hadn't seen him since we were seventeen but he looked the same, tall, dark hair and eyes and a no teeth grin. He laid on the cool guy act rather thick, I remember thinking how lame he was and how crazy I was for letting him come over.
I was sitting on the couch talking to him but looking at the TV when I turned back to him his face was close and he just looked into my face for a moment. He must have been mid-sentence because he stopped and said-
"Wow, you have beautiful eyes."
Yeah.. That may sound lame now but go two years thinking you're an ugly pile of dirt and it was like an electric shock straight to my chest. I realized we were too close so I sat down on the floor. Why? I was drunk and I like the floor when I'm drunk. I started talking animatedly to the TV or about the movie? I don't remember exactly, I was nervous.
The next thing I remember is he sat down on the floor next to me and pulled me over so I was leaning against him, he brushed my hair out of my face and just stared at me. He gently caressed my cheek with his fingers and... Thats All..
He didn't try and kiss me or touch me in any other way than caress my cheek. I had never been touched so softly or with such care, it melted away every wall I had put up and our love story truly began.
Cody began coming over almost every evening and we would stay up for hours just talking, I had never talked so much in my life or so honestly. I didn't edit my feelings for fear of what he would think or what he wanted to hear, I told him exactly what I felt and thought.
I have never felt so comfortable around another person, I don't hide any of my silliness or randomness (and believe me it gets pretty scary) for fear that he will tell me I'm stupid. I am 100% myself around him and I love that. Cody is my best friend and I really do belive I didn't truly know love until he stole me away.
We knew we wanted to get married but had planned on waiting a year or so but after a few months we had a little surprise and decided we wanted to be married before our little bundle of joy got here. So we ran away and got married and now it's been a year later we are still just as happy :)