I miss you

I miss you so much. It hurts.
I'm so scared to contact you because I feel like you want
No part of me or my children.
That is scary.
Even more scary since I can't let you go.
I've tried so hard.
But I can't.
I love you and always will.
So this is as brave as I can be right now. I hope you see this.

Please accept my sincerer apology.

Hi. I'm sure this is probably a big surprise. Your heart is probably beating as hard as mine. I've tried so hard to convince myself that we've grown apart and are both better for it but there is something in me that won't let go. I miss you. I miss our insanely stupid and great times. I know I messed up and as did you. Neither of us is completely innocent. All I know is I've tried for two years to let you go and I can't. My soul misses you. It misses our friendship and I don't think I'll ever be able to let go. I don't know if you feel the same or if you've swept our friendship under the rug and moved forward. I'm so happy for you and your husband. I feel like you are truly happy and that's all I've ever wanted for you. I hope your life is all you've ever wanted it to be.  If you ever wanted to make an attempt to start fresh with us then I'm on the same page, if not then I hope you truly believe that I sincerely hope your life is as incredible as I hope it to be. I will always love you and no matter how hard I try not to I will always think of you when random things remind me of our million inside jokes. You will forever hold an important part of my heart. I hope you're blissfully happy Laura :)